CHAPTER 1 ;;;;

I woke up, as usual, in the same hotel with my blonde hair all messed up. I can't believe I lost her. She left me and I still miss her but now she is dating my friend, Carson. I wish I had thought about what I would lose if she left. It kills me to say her name, it kills me to hear about her, and it hurts even more to see her with Carson. The other day we all went out and I swear my heart was going to break watching them kiss. Like a stab to the heart. I can't take it.

I looked to my left and saw a picture of us on the rock just holding onto one another. We were so happy. I miss those days so much. It eats at my heart more and more. I don't think I can take it at least much longer. There was a time when we were swimming Carson kept hitting on her and she told him she didn't like him like that. Now she does? This is killing me. Remembering how she would touch my face before kissing me, the way when she wanted to know something she'd run her nails down my arm making my skin prickle, and the way her eyes sparkled in the sunlight.

Her honey voice always making butterflies appear in my stomach out of no where. My face was getting hot just thinking of her. Today, I was going to Carson's hopefully she isn't there so I don't have to even look at her. Make my day easier but yet harder. I am not even sure if what we had was true love, if it was then it would've lasted, and not ended like that. A Phone call saying, "I'm sorry but I can't keep dating you" and then the dial tone so I couldn't find out a real reason.

I slipped on my jeans, threw on a shirt, and slipped into DC shoes. Her Favorite too. I walked to Carson's which was down the street. I hadn't even said good morning to my mom since she wasn't happy that I lost her. I can't keep calling her, her. Well her name is Kristina. She has straight Dark Brown hair, Bright teal eyes, and a pale complexion. She is way too beautiful for this world. She always wears skinny jeans, sneakers of flats and a trendy shirt.

Carson on the other hand has Black hair, green eyes and a bit of a tan. He is muscular, strong, sweet, and treats her like a princess. I treated her like an angel but she seems to like being treated like a princess better. I walked up to his door and heard a scream and a crash. I frantically opened the door and saw Kristina had dropped a plate.

"Are you alright?" I asked hurrying and helping her.
"Yeah thanks Jesse" She smiled her perfect smile.
"Babe, what did you break?" Carson's rough voice asked.
"Just a plate, sorry" Kristina's honey voice called to him.
"Need help?" Carson asked sounding un-concerned.
"no thank you" Kristina answered flatly.
"Stupid asshole" She mumbled.
"What's wrong? I asked quickly grabbing her arm.
"Nothing really, don't worry about it" Her voice was filled with some sort of feeling.

I helped her put away the rest of the broken glass and looked in her eyes. It was like they were begging, but she was smiling, and the sparkle in them was even more dazzling then I remembered. I saw a cut and grabbed the medical pack and fixed her finger up. When I looked up I saw Carson and he wasn't happy.

"Jesse, why are you helping her, I can do that!" Carson yelled.
"No, Carson, you can't" Kristina defended me.
"Don't get" Carson was inturrupted by Kristina.
"Honestly Carson, I don't think we can even continue like this"
"What do you mean?" Carson's voice was now hurt.
She took a breath, "You act all jealous when I hang out with another guy. You treat me like a princess when people are around but in real life you don't. You treat me like a toy. Getting me to do all the cleaning, cooking, and you even try and pressure me into things I don't want to do"
"No I don't" Carson defended himself.

Kristina sighed getting up and going upstairs. I followed and I heard the front door slam. I saw her sitting on her bed. I sat down beside her, grabbed her hand and she looked up. I stared into her eyes for a long time and felt a song coming on.

"I shouldn't love you but I want to. I just can't turn away, I shouldn't see you but I can't move, I can't look away.
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not. 'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop" I sang.
"Just so you know, This feeling's taking control of me and I can't help it. I won't sit around, I can't let him win now thought you should know. I've tried my best to let go of you but I don't want to. I just gotta say it all before I go" We sang.
"Just so you know. It's getting hard to be around you, there's so much I can't say. Do you want me to hide the feelings and look the other way. And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not. 'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop" We sang.
"This emptiness is killing me and I'm wondering why I've waited so long. Looking back I realize it was always there just never spoken. I'm waiting here...been waiting here" I sang alone.